Sometimes I am so torn with my feelings towards people. Since I'm 30, recently married (almost 2 years ago actually), and have expressed an interest in having a family, basically everyone gets the idea that I'm likely trying to get preg. Now this is fine, I'm not that secretive of a person but I also haven't solicited advice from people and I don't really know if I even appreciate it. So, on Wednesday a co-worker emailed me a link to a website indicating a bunch of great stuff to eat to help with fertility. Is this nosey or nice? I don't really talk to this lady very often and I just felt annoyed at her, even though she may have just been trying to be nice. But, HELLOOOO..... do you think that I haven't already researched EVERYTHING to help with fertility?!!! How do you all feel about getting unsolicited advice and tips?
There are also a few people that I told I was doing fertility treatments and now they have gotten into the habit of asking me EVERY month..."so are you trying this month?" or "are you preggers yet?" or even telling me that they have been checking out my tummy to see if they can detect any pregnancy bloat! This makes me super paranoid about my "fertility-treatment-induced-bloat" (I look pregnant when I'm on these drugs!) and my sometimes I "ate-too-many-doritos-before-bed" bloat! Stop staring! Also, are they asking because they "care" (ya...right) or because they need something to add to the office gossip pool? Being the pessimist I am, I think these folks are actually NOSEY and NOT NICE.
Now I wish I had kept my big mouth shut, but of course I was naive at first and thought I would get preggers on the first try. Ahhhh...would've been nice!
To resolve this issue I have told people at work that we are not trying until atleast the summer since we are really busy with "other stuff". Hopefully this will shut them up and let me enjoy my dorito/fertility bloat in peace!
Ciao for now! LTB
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Ugh, that is NOSEY. I am very open about my infertility, and I love when people offer me support or an ear to listen. But my biggest pet peeve is the "advice" (especially the really BAD advice like "go on a vacation and it will just happen"). Hopefully your response will deflect their comments for a little while. :)
ReplyDeleteNOSEY, NOSEY!
ReplyDeleteI hate it when people offer advice, it makes me feel like they think I'm not smart enough to do my own research. I do a damn lot of research and I've read more books and websites than I care to admit on fertility. I do acupuncture. I follow the fertility diet.
I hope the nosey ppl lay off you for a while! I haven't told ppl what we're doing or when because I don't want those questions on a monthly basis. I'll tell them what I want to tell them when I want to tell them.
I'm going with NOSEY on this one too! I've shared my situation with a very select group of people who I know will offer me the support I need. But I get super uncomfortable when other people start talking about ttc and babies because I know they're waiting for me to pipe in (hubby and I have been married the longest of all our friends), and like you before I knew what we were in for I expressed an interest in starting a family soon. Now I've just gone silent on the subject and do the whole maybe in the next year we'll think about it. Hopefully we can shock them all with a pregnancy announcement very soon!!
ReplyDeleteYep, been there. Just last night, one of my friends I opened to about IF asked me, "Are you still going to acupuncture?" I stopped b/c it was too expensive and my lining was still sucking so I said, "No, it was just too much." She immediately looked down to my belly!!!! And said, "So everything's okay now, are you pregnant?" UGH! It's my own fault for letting her in, and I can't blame her for that reaction. But it was a dagger to the heart. NOPE! Everything is NOT OKAY! I'm just no longer doing ACUPUNCTURE!
ReplyDeleteGee, you think you hit a sensie spot on me? :)
NOSEY!!! I'm sorry but I can't stand advise, especially from fertiles. B/c what do they really know...all they had to do was have sex w/out protection and then BAM, preggo! I can't stand it. I can't stand when people ask if I want to have kids or when we'll have kids either. I do my best to fake that we're not ready or I don't want them b/c it's just too hard to get into with people who I'm not really close with.
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