In order to lift my spirits and in particular get my hubby on board with helping more I decided to make a plan. My husband isn't really the jerk I make him out to be. He is an amazing guy, hard working, super sensitive and madly in love with me and my daughter. He is however a bit oblivious. I honestly think he doesn't know how to help. And how can I really blame him since until I made "the plan" I didn't even know how I wanted him to help. So, I made a plan and approached him about it and his is ON BOARD! So, after this weekend, here's hoping that I get some more support at home.
1. Instead of coming home from work and eating the dinner I prepared while I hold the fussy baby (yes...I started doing this and then I will eat after...my fault...he never asked for this but he did say he is too hungry when he comes home to do anything except eat immediately), he will have a snack before coming home and when he gets home it will be his time (about 45 minutes) with the baby. I will cook dinner and we can eat after she goes to bed.
2. Instead of me going in the big bath tub with Alexandra every night, he will bathe her in the baby tub and read her a story and call me up to nurse her before bed. Then he puts her in the crib and is "on duty" until 11pm. If she cries he has to do the checking/shushing.
3. He normally goes to the gym every morning at 6:30 am and gets to work at about 8:15am. Instead of doing this I have asked him to take 2 mornings a week and get up with us at around 7am when Alexandra wakes up. Even if he is just laying beside me in the bed while I nurse her I think it will be a great bonding time for us as a family. On those days he can go to the gym after she goes to bed if he still wants to go.
4. Saturday is MY day. I'm going to get my hair done, coming home to feed her, going to get a pedicure, coming home to feed her and then going to the mall. After all that the three of us are going to go to dinner together (early...to accommodate Alexandra's 6:30/7 bed time). So, this will be his first extended stretch of time being alone with the baby. Maybe after this he will appreciate all that I do much more! And I will be "beautiful" (this mama is in DESPERATE need of highlights and a cut!) and refreshed.
I am feeling relieved to have talked to him about it and proud that i didn't attack him with "you are a selfish asshole..." and instead made a plan and he was totally responsive and happy and loved the plan.
So, today is a GOOD FRIDAY indeed! Happy Easter weekend everyone!!!
Friday at The Hangout (Union Point)
18 hours ago