Friday, April 22, 2011

The Plan

In order to lift my spirits and in particular get my hubby on board with helping more I decided to make a plan. My husband isn't really the jerk I make him out to be. He is an amazing guy, hard working, super sensitive and madly in love with me and my daughter. He is however a bit oblivious. I honestly think he doesn't know how to help. And how can I really blame him since until I made "the plan" I didn't even know how I wanted him to help. So, I made a plan and approached him about it and his is ON BOARD! So, after this weekend, here's hoping that I get some more support at home.

The plan:

1. Instead of coming home from work and eating the dinner I prepared while I hold the fussy baby (yes...I started doing this and then I will eat fault...he never asked for this but he did say he is too hungry when he comes home to do anything except eat immediately), he will have a snack before coming home and when he gets home it will be his time (about 45 minutes) with the baby. I will cook dinner and we can eat after she goes to bed.

2. Instead of me going in the big bath tub with Alexandra every night, he will bathe her in the baby tub and read her a story and call me up to nurse her before bed. Then he puts her in the crib and is "on duty" until 11pm. If she cries he has to do the checking/shushing.

3. He normally goes to the gym every morning at 6:30 am and gets to work at about 8:15am. Instead of doing this I have asked him to take 2 mornings a week and get up with us at around 7am when Alexandra wakes up. Even if he is just laying beside me in the bed while I nurse her I think it will be a great bonding time for us as a family. On those days he can go to the gym after she goes to bed if he still wants to go.

4. Saturday is MY day. I'm going to get my hair done, coming home to feed her, going to get a pedicure, coming home to feed her and then going to the mall. After all that the three of us are going to go to dinner together ( accommodate Alexandra's 6:30/7 bed time). So, this will be his first extended stretch of time being alone with the baby. Maybe after this he will appreciate all that I do much more! And I will be "beautiful" (this mama is in DESPERATE need of highlights and a cut!) and refreshed.

I am feeling relieved to have talked to him about it and proud that i didn't attack him with "you are a selfish asshole..." and instead made a plan and he was totally responsive and happy and loved the plan.

So, today is a GOOD FRIDAY indeed! Happy Easter weekend everyone!!!


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Feeling Down.

I am feeling blah. Bored. Lonely. Overtired. Sad.

I totally love my baby...but she is hard. She is pretty fussy and high needs. Which means that I am holding her and rocking her and basically spend my days trying to get her to sleep. She will never just "go to sleep" when she is tired. It always requires much effort from me. She screams in the car so going places has become quite a headache (literally!) She is still waking up twice at night to eat which I don't know is normal or not given that she's 4.5 months old.

It doesn't help that I get zero help from anyone. My family is far away and my husband doesn't help. Granted he works a lot, but he is also pretty selfish and doesn't stay do much when he is home. I am also a bit of a control freak and don't know if I really want him to help since I want things done my way. It's a double edged sword.

I have completely lost myself. I don't go work out because Alexandra is too fussy to go to the daycare at the gym during the day (maybe I should give her some credit and give it a try but if she fusses there like she does at home they will need to hold her the whole time). And in the evening I need to be around for her bed time so the only time I could go to the gym is after around 8pm which is when I am exhausted and not going to go. Especially since I want to be asleep by 10, it doesn't leave me much time and I don't want to get all sweaty and awake right before bed time.

I haven't gone out with girlfriends (not that I have many) since she was born (not counting mom-friends with babies in tow).

I haven't enjoyed any alone time with my husband and I actually resent him a ton half the time so I don't even want to spend time with him alone. Great. Our marriage is sucking.

I am so paranoid about her "sleep schedule " that I don't enjoy family gatherings adn I'm paranoid about our upcoming trip to Florida. I wish I could just "go with the flow" and have some fun. I'm so freakin' uptight its disgusting.

I'm starting to get nervous about baby #2. First I'm nervous that I won't get pregnant..when is is safe to go back to the RE? Do I have to quit breastfeeding first? I'm no spring chicken at 32 so I know my clock is a tickin! But I'm also nervous about being able to handle #2 if he/she comes out as fussy as Alexandra! Two super fussheads under 2 would be quite daunting! little princess just opened her eyes smiling at me and suddenly this post seems pathetic. So, I will sign off. Sorry for the rant. Sometimes it's tough being a mom!


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

I saw this on Seriously's blog and thought I'd give it a go! You can link up on Chelsea's blog!

Ten on Tuesday

1. If you work, do you drive to work or take public transportation?
I currently work at home (a much tougher job than my former teaching job!) but when I was working I ride my bike 90% of the time. I even rode until 2 weeks before my due date! However, I haven't been on my bike since A was born.

2. How often do you get your haircut? Do you go to the same person every time?
I get it cut very rarely. I should make time to take better care of my hair but I hate spending the money and I hate spending a whole afternoon at the salon getting highlights and cut. I usually get it cut maybe twice a year (eek!) and get the highlights done maybe 3-4 times a year! I could use highlights probably 5 times a year but I suffer with gross roots for a month before I cave and make an appointment

3. Do you read the newspaper? If so, a hardcopy or the online version?
I used to read the paper (hardcopy) every day (pre-baby). Now, not so much. But I LOVE reading the paper and should subscribe to delivery and get back in the habit.

4. What is the best book you have read this year?
The Help. However, it is probably the only book I have read this year!

5. What is the best movie you have seen this year?
The Fighter.

6. Do you tend to crave sweet or salty foods?
Definitely both. I have too many vices! But more sweet than salty for "treats" since I usually just add a ton of salt to whatever I'm eating!

7. Do you eat breakfast every day? If so, what do you have?

Oh ya! And as I have said before...I eat the exact same breakfast EVERYDAY. English muffin with peanut butter, an orange and coffee!

8. If you celebrate Easter, what Easter treat/candy are you most looking forward to?

I don't "celebrate" Easter per se...but I love those Cadbury Cream Eggs!

9. How late is “sleeping in” to you?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE to sleep in. I used to sleep in until 10 or 11 on weekends. Post baby...not so much. We get up at 7am. A sleep in now is when she sleeps until 8 (rarely if ever!)

10. Where are you going on your next vacation?
We head to Florida on April 30th! We rented a condo on the beach in Fort Myers. Hopefully the weather's good!

Have a happy Tuesday girls!


Monday, April 11, 2011

Sleep Training Con't...

We have kept up with the sleep routine of just putting her down and then checking her at increasingly long intervals for the past 5 days now. First day we had 28 minutes of crying, second day we had about 4 minutes! Third day about 8 minutes, Fourth about 15 and last night about 20 minutes. Soooooo....she's still crying to get to sleep, but she is going to sleep and not waking up as often in the night. And when she does wake up , she will whine for a couple minutes and then go back to sleep, unless its time to eat of course.

We are definitely going to keep going with this and hopefully she will stop crying all together at bed time soon ( it is dreadfully painful to listen to even 5 minutes of crying!!!) .

Next steps/questions/advice....

Alexandra is 4 months old, she still wakes up twice to eat at night. She goes down at 7pm, is up around 12:30 to eat and then again around 4am, and up for the day around 7am.

Question 1: is this normal? too much? some books say she should only need one feeding in a 12 hour sleep stretch. Should I "wean" her from these night feeds or do babies naturally wean themselves? I would absolutely LOVE to only get up to feed her once at night!!! How can you tell when your baby is waking up due to hunger or habit?

Question 2: to anyone who has done sleep training and is still feeding at night....what do you do if your baby is "supposed" to eat at 4am but wakes up at 3 or 3:30? Do you let him/her cry and go check on her occasionally until the eating time or do you just feed her at that time and then hope she doesn't wake up again? or if she wakes up again then do the crying/checking thing then?

Question 3: Anyone do a dream feed? I'm afraid to disrupt her sleep cycles by picking her up to feed her before I go to bed at 10pm. I'm scared she'll wake up or won't wake up but won't eat at all. Is it worth it to try? Since she's 4 months...have I missed the window to try this? Any tips? Success or failure stories with the dream feed? (aside: she won't take a bottle so I would have to pick her up and breast feed her).

And Next Step: Operation Baby-Outta-Ma -Room!!!!

She sleeps in her own travel crib beside my bed but I am so over tiptoeing into bed and not watching my beloved Kardashians before I sleep! We are installing black out drapes in her nursery and when that is ready she's outta here! (I know it will be bitter sweet and I will likely cry....)

Aside: We are going to Florida in a couple weeks and we got Alexandra a cute little sunsuit and swim hat to protect her from the sun! I think she looks adorable!!!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Sleep Training Day 2

Thursday night went great! We put Alexandra down at 7pm. The plan was to wait 5 minutes and go soothe her without picking her up, then wait 7 minutes and then go in every 10 minutes. Well, we didn't have to go in even once! She fell asleep after 2 minutes of whimpering!

At about 10pm she woke up and we were in bed by then. Hubs and I hid under the covers and were really quiet (she is still in our room sleeping in the travel crib). She fussed for maybe 3 minutes and fell back asleep. She woke up at 1:40 am to eat, then at 4:30 to eat and then at 6:30 she started to cry. I wasn't going to let her cry it out at 6:30 when we usually get up around 7:15 so we just started out day then! Even though she is still getting up twice to eat (she is still only 4 months old) this is a major improvement from waking up every hour! For this morning's nap, she went down without crying AT ALL!

I'm so proud of my little girl!!! Here's hoping Day 3 goes even better!!! And also hoping that i'm not jinxing myself by telling everyone how great she's doing!!!

And today is also a super special day....One year ago I got the amazing life changing call...I was pregnant! I love my little miracle baby and can't believe it has been a year since she's been with us-(even though 9 of those months were in my belly!)

See you tomorrow ladies!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Sleep Training Day 1

First off I want to start by asking people who are "anti-sleep training" (and anti-crying) to please be nice and not leave me mean comments. I'm having a rough time as it is!

So, after having the WORST NIGHT EVER on Tuesday we decided to start sleep training Alexandra on Wednesday night. On Tuesday she woke up every 45 minutes from 11:15 until 7am! I was going insane! Each wake up required either eating, picking up and rocking/bouncing. It was HELL!

So, last night we did our usual bedtime routine of a bath, story, feeding, swaddling and then my husband laid her in her crib awake. I usually would rub her tummy and put the stupid soother in her mouth until she fell asleep. But last night NO SOOTHER and he left the room.

She cried.

He went in after 3 minutes. Kissed her, rubbed her tummy and said "nighty night". She was still crying.

He waited 5 minutes. Then repeated the above.

Still crying.

He waited 10 minutes. Repeat above.

Crying was slowing but persisting.

He waited 10 more minutes and before going in she stopped crying! And FELL ASLEEP!

It took 28 minutes and she was asleep WITHOUT THE SOOTHER!

I was "on-duty" for the night time shift since hubs has to go to work and so he set up the pull out couch in case he needed to go there.

She slept until 12:30. I fed her. And put her back down awake. She fussed for about 7 minutes. Then fell asleep.

She woke up at 3:30. Not yet time to eat (she eats normally at 4:30). I let her cry. Hubs went to the couch. After 3 min of crying I rubbed her and kissed her. Then repeated after 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes and repeated at 15 minute intervals. Unfortunately, she cried until 4:20 when I fed her. Then I put her down and she fell right to sleep and slept until 7:30.

All in all I am calling night one of sleep training a success. I am so proud of my baby and I am loving her and kissing her and hugging her extra today to make up for the sucky crying we had to endure! I think she had a better sleep last night than she has in weeks, and so did I.

Nap time today was also a success! I put her in the crib awake, no soother and she fell asleep with mild fussing after 12 minutes! She slept for 40 minutes which is standard for her. (we will work on nap length eventually!).

So, day 1 down. We survived. I am loving my little princess like crazy and hoping that tonight is not a shit show!

Wish us luck and check back for day 2 tomorrow!!!


Tuesday, April 5, 2011


The first 2 months of A's life I was tired. But going on adrenaline and dealing with it just fine. In the next month I got tired. Really tired. Then in the past month her sleep habits have gotten worse and now I am hurting BIG TIME. I am so exhausted I feel like my head could fall off. I'm soo tired that I'm irritated by everything. i'm sooo tired that I can't sleep well when I have the chance too. Alexandra is now sleeping with approximately this schedule:
Bed 7pm
12:30am wake to eat
2:30 am wake, require rocking back to sleep for about half an hour
4:30am wake to eat
5:30am soother falls out...
6:30am soother falls out...
7:15am up for the day.

I usually get to bed around 10 but have been having trouble falling asleep before 11. This means the longest stretch of sleep i'm getting is 2 hours! This hurts!

I hate to complain because I know I would hate to hear someone lucky enough to have a baby complain about anything. I feel guilty complaining. But I am at the end of my rope here.

Sleep training....this weekend we are starting. She will be 4 months old and something's got to give.

Any advice on what worked/didn't work...?

Oh...and sleep when the baby sleeps (ie. during naps) does not happen over here! She only naps "independently" in her crib for about a half an hour...not enough time for me to even get to sleep. Otherwise we are napping in the stroller or in my arms...

Any tips on how to make her naps in the crib longer would be appreciated too!!

She's torturing me with lack of sleep but she sure is cute!!!

See for yourself!