16 week appointment

First off I just want to tell people who don't know what the G20 is (I had a few comments with people asking). It is a meeting of a group (20 I guess) of politial leaders from around the world who come together to discuss finances and budgets and debts etc. It happens every year and it rotates which country is the host. Last year it was in Italy. And unfortunately this year it was Canada's turn to host. Since Obama and all the other big wigs were in town there was massive security/road closures etc put in place and of course people protesting whatever since they know there will be a lot of media and attention given during this time. Among these peaceful protesters there are always trouble makers. They are anarchists (called the Black Bloc) that basically hate police and came to Toronto to destroy our property, taunt our police, and turn the city into a riot town. Totally annoying and disgusting. Hopefully now that the G20 is over they will all get the heck out of here and leave my city alone!

Ok, now that I go that off my chest, onto my appt today.
Today marks 16 weeks. My OB appointment was a bit disappointing. As in, nothing happened. It took literally 2 minutes. Called in...weighed...blood pressure....doppler....sent to get blood taken. Done.

The doppler was cool but since I have one at home it wasn't as cool or amazing as it would be had I never heard my little one's hb before. It was very anti-climatic.
One thing however did stress me out BIG TIME! Pre-pregnancy and I guess pre-fertility drugs I weighed 101 pounds at my physical (January). Today I weighed 110 pounds. I don't own a scale and I never weigh myself at home since weight and numbers are things I can definitely obsess about. I used to be a compulsive exerciser so I have some "issues".
My doctor didn't seem overly concerned but said we will just start watching it now. He said to watch the juice ( I don't drink any juice) and carbs (I don't eat many carbs). So basically I feel like an cow. Mostly though I just feel out of control. To be honest I haven't been eating more than usual really, I did stop exercising for the first trimester due to bedrest and spotting but now I'm back to having great workouts! So why the hell am I gaining so much weight so fast? I know I shouldn't be fretting over weighing 110 pounds and its not the number that I am afraid of, its the unexplained weight gain and the fear of what's to come if this rate of gain keeps up or increases! Don't get me wrong, I feel incredibly blessed and grateful for this little baby I'm growing and I would happily have gained a ton more weight now IF I could explain where the heck it is coming from! Ugh. I feel guilty and sick and for even worrying about this when I should just be happy that atleast I am pregnant and have made it this far. But honestly I still have that nagging doubt in my head that something is going to go wrong and I am going to lose this baby and then I will still have gained this weight for NOTHING! And I will be devasted and fat too. If you feel like punching me I totally understand, and trust me I'm beating myself up for these thoughts too big time.

Anyways, aside from this bullshit my appt went well, everything was fine and I go back in 4 weeks for my BIG anatomy ultrasound. Boy or Girl? I'm thinking (and guiltily hoping) girl. But of course will totally love a little mama's boy!

Hope Monday is going great for you! Today is my first official day of summer break! Woo hoo!
:)
LTB