Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Twas the night before beta....

well tonight is my last night of "ignorance is bliss". Tomorrow at 7 am I go for beta. This is the first time I have not tested before going. I enjoyed my 2weeks being pupo but now i'm sad and preparing to be put back on bcp next month due to the cysts that will inevitably be there on day 3 monitoring. Not helping my sadness today is the fact that 2 ladies at work just announced their pregnancy, my SIL is getting induced tonight and I'll be going to see the baby if its born tomorrow night or Friday. Woo hoo...bfn in the morning and visiting SIL's baby that evening...sucky.
Also feeling super jealous and guilty at the same time. My best friend has a baby but has been renting a townhouse with her hubby for a few years. Now, nothing wrong with renting but my hubs and I bought a condo 2 years ago and I take pride in the fact that we could do this! and our place is amazing! Now today my bff told me in an email that she and her hubs are buying a house this week. So now not only does she have the baby but she has the house too. Owning property was "my thing", i guess kind of like a "well she might have a baby but we own our condo", i know its lame, i know i'm lame but now i'm just childless and lame cause she has a baby and a house and i wouldn't doubt if she gets preg with number 2 this summer. I hate hating other people for their good fortune, especially when it is well deserved! My bff is amazing and I want her to be totally happy, I just want it too. I want a baby.
:(
LTB
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10 comments:

  1. Rilee BrownApril 7, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    I would feel the same way :(
    It is SO not fair how we're married, own our homes and are READY for babies, but it's not happening easy. It should be the next step!
    Anyways, good luck on the beta tomorrow! I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you!

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  2. ALApril 7, 2010 at 3:56 PM

    GL tomorrow!!! Hoping for some great news from you, LTB!!

    {And my SIL is likely getting induced tomorrow with baby #2, sucks!!!)

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  3. JessicaApril 7, 2010 at 4:15 PM

    GL tomorrow..I hope it is great news!!

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  4. AnonymousApril 7, 2010 at 4:16 PM

    I feel the same way alot of the time. I feel bad for not being happy for people that I truly like and love. But it's annoying when I feel like everyone already me is getting everything and having all the luck! Fingers crossed for you tomorrow!!

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  5. AnonymousApril 7, 2010 at 4:17 PM

    Ahh, I'm sorry. You're not lame, we all have those feelings. IF is just the suckyest thing ever to go through. I hope you get a BFP tomorrow...really really hope!!!

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  6. AnonymousApril 7, 2010 at 4:57 PM

    You aren't lame, sweetie. I promise. You are totally normal. Good luck tomorrow. I really, really, really hope that this is it for you. You totally deserve it.

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  7. AnonymousApril 7, 2010 at 7:22 PM

    You are the 3rd blogger friend that has been really down about her beta...and the other two got BFP!! So I am holding out hope for you! Good luck tomorrow!

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  8. AnonymousApril 8, 2010 at 4:10 AM

    C'mon BFP!!! I hope you get your baby today. It's the month of Good Eggs, as you said once in a comment to me! Why not yours? ((hugs))

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  9. TApril 8, 2010 at 5:25 AM

    I totally know those jealous feelings! They suck and just make you feel even worse for even having them. It is just so hard to see why you can't get the things you want like so many other people.
    I am not giving up hope on your BFP today...you don't either!!

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  10. CeejayApril 8, 2010 at 12:41 PM

    I'm dying to hear the news after today! I really hope it's good! And I can soooo relate on having the selfish side of yourself that wants to have everything that others have. I think fighting with that jealousy is my least favorite part of infertility.

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