I'm back at it. Teaching. Full days. Ugh. This week I am teaching an easy "Get Ready" math course for 4 kids at my school (full real school starts next week). I have been dreading going back to work for the whole summer. But I have to say I am impressed with myself so far. This week is a good warm up for next week's chaos. But, I'm not too tired, I've still been getting to the gym after work, and I feel good! I was worried that waking up early would kill me and I would hate being here. But I really love the kids, and math, and my colleagues! Plus there is the added bonus of having everyone comment on my baby bump! I actually totally LOVE it (for now!) The students are so cute and nice! Actually i think everyone is nicer to pregnant people. Which is great for me NOW but pissed the hell out of me when I was TTC! Being pregnant really doesn't warrant "special niceness"! We should be nice to EVERYONE (except assholes!) regardless of their bun-in-the-oven status. Actually, we should be NICER to infertiles who are TTC! It sucks and they are the ones that need the love!!! This is something that truly does tick me off big time and I don't want to forget about it now that I'm on the "other side".
It's weird though, even though I'm pregnant now, I still get annoyed/anxious/jealous whenever I hear about other people being pregnant! I keep thinking something is going to go wrong with my pregnancy and I'll be stuck with nothing and they will have their cute baby! Or, it just sends me flashbacks of not being pregnant and hearing about new pregnancies. And I just hate hearing about people who get preggo after like 2 months of "trying". I know I shouldn't be jealous since it is a "bad" trait but I can't help it! I wish I could be the only one that I know IRL who is pregnant, until the birth of my baby and then whoever the heck else wants to get pregnant can have their turn!
Anyone else have these feelings? or am I just an asshole?
Also, wondering if anyone has heard from BasicGirl in a while? She hasn't posted in forever and I loved following her pregnancy since she cycled right around the same time as me! If anyone has an update on her I would love to know! And BasicGirl...if you are reading this...post something! Miss you!
Hope you all have a great week (Thursday already!!!) I'll post a 25 week update (a few days late...ooops!) later!
LTB
Restless
3 hours ago
I had the same experiences about being jealous when hearing other people were pregnant while I was. You'd think you'd be okay with it since you're there too, and farther along than they are, but I never did. When my cousin told me was pregnant (after just throwing away the birth control but not trying FOR ONE MONTH!) I had a panic attack. I was sure something would happen to my baby and not hers and I'd never be able to go to a family function again. It was miserable. I'd like to tell you that it gets better but it never did for me. I think it's a common and reasonable response to those of us who suffered IF or pregnancy loss.
ReplyDeleteI'm missing/worrying about Basic Girl, too. I always get concerned when someone doesn't post for a long time! Hopefully everything is okay.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful weekend!
I always thought being an elementary teacher would be a fun job. Congrats on still getting to the gym! Much more than I do these days! haha.
ReplyDeleteI seem to get more "annoyed" with people who are like "We tried FOREVER to get pregnant" and when I ask they say "three months" Oh...that's not forever...trust me.
Glad work is going well and it's overwhelming you too much!
ReplyDeleteI still feel the same way about hearing that other ladies are pregnant. Not really if I knew that they were having a hard time, but the easy ones. This one girl is pregnant with her FOURTH (made it very clear it was a huge surprise!) and she put as her FB status the other day "had first OB appointment. One great heartbeat. Really bummed it wasn't twins!" Oh geez. You're on your fourth. I think a single pregnancy will be just fine!
And I have been thinking of Basic Girl too! For about a week I have been mildly stalking her page because I know her 20 week ultrasound was coming up a few weeks ago.
Even though I'm pregnant, I still get really angry and jealous when I hear pregnancy announcements and I know it happened "so fast" or they tried "forever" (as in 2-3 months). Barf.
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about Basic Girl, too. I was hoping that now that she is prego she just has not had the time or much to write. If you are there girl...drop a line!
ReplyDeleteMan I was really hoping that once I was further along in my pregnancy I would get off those angry jealous feelings. I guess something that effects you for so long is just not that easy to get over.
You're an asshole. Just kidding. I feel the same way! :)
ReplyDeleteHavent heard from Basic Girl either...hmmm.
She hasn't been on twitter either. Wonder if anyone has her email address.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm right there with you on the feelings. I'm like "hold off ttc for the next 10 weeks or until my baby is born, whichever comes first!" to iRl folks. But I can't say that :(
I left her a message on er blog. Will see if she responds before we email her (her email is on her blog)
ReplyDeleteHappy back to work to you, LTB!
ReplyDeleteGod, the jealousy and just unbridled anger. I have it ALL THE TIME. My husband keeps telling me it's an ugly trait and I have to get over it. But I can't. I just can't. Not until this baby is healthy and out and in my arms. And probably not even then.
Welcome back! (to work that is) I can't wait for your 25 week update!
ReplyDeleteHey LTB!!! I'm alive and all good! Sorry for being MIA, but thanks so much for worrying about me girl! And I just posted a super long update to fill everyone in.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are SO not alone with those feelings. I just found out about a girl getting pregnant naturally, and her first baby is only like 6 months old and she did IVF. So you think I'd be NOTHING but happy for her, which of course I am...but I'm also like, not fair...I want to get a whoopsy natural baby right after IVF. Its basically like other preggos can't win in my mind!
It is hard to hear pregnancy announcements, ESPECIALLY when it was an "oops" or a "we got pregnant within 3 months of trying!"
ReplyDeleteGlad people are being extra nice to you - they should!
No, you are not just an asshole... or at least you are not alone being one lol I too get jealous when I see other pregnant women.. even though my belly is way bigger than theirs, its just hard to shake infertility off. Ah well.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are loving teaching so far, I hope it continues like this until its time for maternity leave =)
I think I handle pregnancy announcements a LOT better now (which is horrible but true), but they still sting. I had lunch with a friend yesterday and she mentioned her coworker is 7 weeks preggo, got knocked up on her honeymoon at the end of July. All I could think was that that's when I got knocked up....and it was FOUR FREAKING YEARS after my honeymoon. I was devil-mad. So, you are not an asshole. OR, we are allll assholes. :)
ReplyDeleteI need to re-read your early preggo posts. I know you did eventually get morning sickness, but I feel like it showed up later. I still have NO symptoms, how is that possible? It absolutely terrifies me. xo
PS Thanks so much for the shout out down below!