I've hit it. Mentally and physically I have hit the wall. I am hardly sleeping, running on pure adrenaline and just powering through my last week of work and the countdown to my dday (which is on Sunday!)
I am totally checked out of work, but at the same time trying to care enough to train my replacement. My students are keeping me happy becuase they are being super sweet and sad about me leaving! :) In hind sight I wish I had taken a week off before my due date. Although, I'm pretty positive I will be stuck waiting for atleast an extra week past my due date!
I have my final paper for my masters course due on Saturday at midnight. I'm also scrambling to get that done, with limited focus and motivation!
Christmas shopping...trying to get it ALL DONE! If this baby arrives I'm sure the last place I will want to be is in a mall right before xmas! I think i'm almost 100% done now.
Workouts...I quit this week. I was doing sooooooo well my entire pregnancy and keeping up pretty good workouts. Then on Saturday I even did a Body Pump class and walked 6 km home and felt great. Took Sunday off, then Monday (after only 4 hours of anxiety ridden sleep) I decided to just take it easy and not force myself to work out this week. First it was a plan to rest until Wednesday then get back into it until the baby comes. Well, that didn't happen (Christmas shopping did instead!!!) and now I feel lazy and gross and disappointed in myself but at the same time I think I need to listen to my body and rest before the baby makes its arrival. I hate that I have this exercise addictive personality that fills me with so much guilt! ugh! I suck at cutting myself any slack. So, I may be done with the gym until 6weeks (or longer) post-baby. Kind of freeing and relieving to say that. I'll just enjoy the nightly walks with the pups and the hubs.
One other reason I'm thinking its best to lay off the workouts is that I have been gettting a ton of painful contractions where my tummy gets rock hard, mis-shapen and crushes my lungs. I seriously have to breathe through these things! And I have noticed they get bad when I move alot (exercise) or lift heavy stuff. So, as much as I want labour to come, I want to avoid painful "false labour" contractions!!!
I just feel like I have hit a wall and I can't think about any one thing at a time because I have too much to think about!
And I'm tired. Really tired.
I hope that the baby waits until maybe Tuesday or Wednesday so I can get some rest this weekend! But then I again...I hope she doesn't wait too long!!!
Also, my friend from work who was due the same day as me had her baby yesterday. I'm jealous. And my infertile brain reared its ugly head and I felt a stab to my heart. Her baby was healthy and perfect, and I got a sudden sinking feeling in my gut that something will still go wrong with mine and I will be left alone in the infertile hole again! It really never ends I guess.
Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant! Clearly, I have lots to do and shouldn't be wasting time on the internet! But I love you guys too much, and I need a place to vent!
Have a happy Thursday!
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