I have dropped off the face of the earth. Apparently blogging with a new born and Christmas is proving too much for me! I'm reading though (mostly while breastfeeding!) And I miss you guys!
So....Alexandra is 15 days old now. I love her more than I thought possible to love ANYONE! My fears of not loving her like every other mother describes evaporated the instant I heard her first cry and kissed her cheek. She is a precious, beautiful angel and my heart melts when I look at her.
I was VERY emotional for the first week (ok...i'm still really emotional) after she was born. I cried EVERYDAY. But they were tears of overwhelming love. Seriously, I was so overwhelmed with emotion and the only way I knew to deal was to cry! And of course, i have already started crying about her growing up too fast! I haven't been feeling sad or depressed at all which was another one of my fears so that is good. But that being said, it has been a super busy time with lots of visitors and fun times. Reality will set in come January when everyone is back to work adn its just me and A at home alone.
We have already been out a bunch of times. Walks to the coffee shop, grocery store, and even to a friend's birthday party when she was 5 days old. She does great in the stroller, car seat and loved the party (ie. she slept the entire time! )
The one thing I'm struggling with is a bit of resentment of the hubs. He sleeps 8 hours straight everynight. I sleep in 2 hour stretches. I am exhausted and I sometimes want to kill him when my alarm goes off to feed her at 3am and I look over to see him snoring like a bear. ..... errrr.
He is off work now until next week so part of me is pissed that he gets to sleep and he doesn't even have to get up for work. But really, there is no point in him getting up since i'm the one with the boobs. Speaking of boobs...woah...I've got BOOBS! And lots of milk, like running down my stomach and soaking through 2 shirts! crazy!
Also, had a few battles with hubs over his soccer games, parties for work, and his "need" to workout . All of these make me pissed since I'm at home, in pain (episiotomy...OUCH!) , and not allowed to work out or do anything for 6 weeks. I don't want to leave my baby girl either and i just don't get how he can even want to do all of those things rather than spend every free second with Alexandra. I think a mother's love is deeper than the fathers right at the beginning. But I see him getting more attached and being "better" with her everyday. His love is growing.
Anyways, little A is beckoning so I must got and whip out a boob for her! I will post the birth story and more photos later!
Miss you all and hope you are having a great holiday!