I'm feeling kind of sad, weird, homesick this weekend. I live about an hour and a bit away from my hometown (where my parents live). I really love living in the BIG city but I really crave living in the same town as my parents and siblings. I feel like a big suck but I want to cry everytime I leave. I went there on Friday to spend the day with my mom and then go to dinner with some old friends (my very best friends from elementary school, through high school and university). I am still pretty close with one of my 3 best friends, she has a baby and I feel totally comfortable hanging out with her whenever I'm in town. The other two felt really weird to be around. One of them lives in Montreal and was married, cheated on her hubby, moved in with "new guy" and now is divorced. She was at the dinner party with "new guy". Now, I'm not one to judge...(maybe that's a bit of a lie actually...) but all I can think when I look at her is "cheater!" . I just get bad vibes being around her. I feel like we can't do any reminiscing about old times because the ex-hubs was always around in the old days (they were HS sweethearts.) so its like I have NOTHING to talk about with her. And she wasn't at all interested in my pregnancy. Not that I need people swooning over me, but she didn't even ask how I was feeling or about symptoms or anything. Weird for a "best friend". I didn't know what to talk about with her, can I ask about her budding relationship with "new guy"? their marriage/kids plans? is her divorce final? everything seems taboo and she doesn't really open up about her "new life" at all. It made me sad. I have new friends now in my new life, and I have wonderful things happening. But it is tough to make friendships now like those that built over my childhood. We did everything together! we were crazy, we cried, we laughed, we totally grew up together and knew everything about each other. Now we are total strangers and I don't know how to make that bond with new girls that I meet now as an adult! I will never want to talk on the phone for hours with a new girlfriend like I did with my HS friends. I will likely never sit and watch tv for hours eating chips with new girlfriends. I will never break rules and sneak out and laugh until I pee my pants with my new girlfriends. We just don't have the time to build the bonds as adults that we did when we were kids. It makes me sad. I miss that honest, real, easy friendship I knew so well as a "young" person. I don't really know where this post is going or what its really about but I'm feeling sad. I think I miss being a kid sometimes. Living with my mommy. Playing with my friends. Life changes and sometimes it makes me sentimental. :(
On that note, I think I'll go call my mom :)
LTB
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I completely get this. A lot of my good friendships have changed and some have even faded away over the last few years. People grow up and grow apart... and it sucks! It makes me sad to think about. Hang in there, girl. I hope your mom was able to cheer you up.
ReplyDeleteI just recently accepted the fact that one of my BFF's from high school is no longer entitled to that honor. We're just on two totally different paths in life and it's not longer a fun, easy relationship. I feel like I am making all the effort, putting all the work into our "friendship" while she sits backs and cancels date after date or runs late or doesn't ask how I'm doing at all as she prattles on about her life, her kids, her marriage, her job.
ReplyDeleteI have friends who offer the friendship I'm looking for, who give as much as they get and that's the bond I want as a woman with a family - someone I can shop with, discuss diaper rashes with, call when our husbands are out of town hunting and go wine tasting with, someone who is a friend.
You may not have that childhood bond but you get that womanhood bond with new friends - which is equally as amazing.
Aw, I only live 15 min from my parents and feel very lucky that they're so close. I can totally understand why it was so hard to be with your old friends. It's sad how we all change and therefore friendships change, but I think it's just the way our lives evolve. Yes, life was much simpler when we were younger!
ReplyDelete