So far...

So good! That's what today's ultrasound showed! I was super duper relieved b/c I was super duper scared. We saw our little baby blob, we saw its flashing heart beat. It's measuring 7 weeks and has a heartbeat of 134bpm . Doc said all looked A-OK! Next step...another u/s in 2 weeks and then transfered to an OB. OMG!



Now...question for you guys who may have been in my situation before...



My doc has said no sex until 12 weeks. Is this ridiculous? Standard for IF patients? My hubby is scratching at the walls thinking of 3 months off sex! We couldn't do it for the past 2 weeks and we thought that was bad! But now we have another 5 weeks! eeek!



Other than that I just continue with the gross suppositores and no strenous exercise.

I hope you are all having a great week! I know that Basic Girl sure is! Congrats Andrea!!!

:)LTB

Nervous

So I am freaking out a little bit. I woke up this morning (after 11 hours of sleep!!!) and my boobs don't really hurt. I also haven't felt sick (not that I ever really did, just a bit quesy) since Friday. I'm freaking that this means I'm going to miscarry. This pregnancy is over! AHHH! I don't have my ultrasound until Wednesday so the next few days are going to be tough. I'm hoping that the fact I got tons of sleep all weekend has helped with the achiness. Any thoughts? Be honest!

Hope you are all having a great weekend!

LTB

I think I'm gonna puke

I think I'm gonna puke....for a few reasons.



Reason #1: my pregnancy twin Al at Mission Motherhood received some terrible news at her first u/s today. Ectopic pregnancy. I am heartbroken for her. And scared. And sad. Go wish Al some happy thoughts and give her a hug.



Reason #2: could it be morning sicknes? 11am...sudden juices flowing into my mouth (like when you eat something really sour)...feel like i'm going to yak. 1:20pm....same thing. Uh oh.



In a way I want morning sickness for the feeling like i'm actually preggers. but after what i felt today, i'm scared of what may come.



On a side note i am 100% hating my work today. I coach track and field and we had a practice at 6:45am to 8am this morning at a track that is about a 15min car ride from our school. I teach at 8:30. So at 8am I jump in a cab with my coaching outfit on and rush to school to teach periods 1 and 2. I left my coaching outfit on. Well, then at lunch I get a bitch-ass email from the Head of the Senior School stating that my attire was inappropriate and i am require to change before teaching. F-u!!! I thought it was likely more improtant for me to show up to class on time than to change before class! My stuffy private school is so full of bullshit and have no idea what is really important. And to make me even more mad I saw 2 other teachers today wearing their coaching outfits while teaching. I hate these snobby bitches that run my school! Lighten up already!

ugh. so now i'm back wearing my uber-uncomfortable work clothes that luckily I had in my car (oh...and they are the same ones i wore yesterday since i had left them in my car overnight....how lovely.)

Thanks for listening to my stupid rant!



Hope you all have a good day!

LTB

You are getting sleeeepppppyyyy!

I am in a permanent state of exhausted. It hit me this weekend and I CANNOT WAKE UP! I am tired all day! I don't know if its from weaning off my medication (which is painfully excruciating! I was dead sick all weekend and had to cave and take a pill....going to try to do one everyother day for a while since clearly I can't handle cold turkey!) or the "pregnancy". I am hoping it is the pregnancy b/c other than that and super big sore boobs I have no symptoms. No nausea. I'm a bit fatter but not sure if that is from all of the bed time nibbling i've been doing or the "pregnancy" . I'm feeling very unsure that I am actually pregnant (that's why I can't say pregnancy without quotations!) . I guess there is no point in worrying but really, that's not going to happen! I still have a week and one day till my ultrasound. I'm so scared to go and be told there's nothing there! But i'm also so excited to go and hear my baby's heart beat! This is such a rollercoaster! We still haven't told anyone except my mom. Not sure if we will be able to wait until week 12 but I kind of want to so that I can actually be fully pregnant when I share the news!
Hope you guys are having a good week! Not much going on over here!
LTB

Littlest True Blue

I was asked by Amanda where I got my blog title, Littlest True Blue. I'm not really sure how I came up with it but basically I'm really little (5'3", 100 pounds) and I have really blue eyes. So blue that I get asked if they are contacts...nope, they are true blue! And my hubby is really dark (pure Italian) and always says he hopes our kids have true blue eyes like mine. So I guess we are hoping to get our "littlest true blue" baby with this pregnancy! We've been hoping for it for a REALLY long time (even though I only starting blogging this year we have been trying since late 2008). So, that's it. That's what littlest true blue means. And my real name is Lisa (but pronounced like Leeza - think, the leaning tower of Pisa- my dad's Italian too). I guess I had f'd up parents that just had to give me a name that would haunt me in school for all of my days...never ending cycle of correcting teachers, spelling my name....and unfortunately sometimes giving in and just going by Lisa. Ahhh....the things we vow to never do to our future children!

Anyways, its 11pm on saturday night and i am beat...had a loooonnnnngggg day at the Toronto Math Olympics today! I took two teams from my school....let me just say....NERD CENTRAL! But a lot of fun for the kids. Gotta give the non-athletes some time to shine too!
Nighty night!
Lisa (remember....read that like Leeza!)
:)

Meds and Pregnancy

So yesterday I was reading someone else's blog that was talking about taking drugs (prescription or over the counter) during pregnancy. And i'm freaked. So, a long time ago I had MAJOR anxiety problems and was put on Effexor 225mg a day. I stupidly obeyed my doc not realizing that this is one of the most PAINFUL drugs to get off of. A few years ago I started to reduce my dosage and everytime I cut out a pill it was AGONIZING. Shots of electricity shooting through your head, dizziness, nausea, diarreah, blurred vision, like horrible side effects. Now I am down to taking only 37.5mg a day. However, now that I'm preg I want to for sure get off this med. The doctors say that the side effects from going from 37.5mg to nothing is the WORST. So i'm freaked. Last night I didn't take my pill, thought I'd just tough it out and feel sick for a while and deal with it. However this morning I couldn't get out of bed because I couldn't see straight. Took the dog for a walk and don't even remember where we walked. Feel in a complete daze. About an hour ago I caved, I took the pill. I feel horrible, I feel sad, I feel scared. I know I will talk to my doc about this but I know they will say to either stay on it (known side effects for the baby could be trouble feeding, sleeping and irritability at birth- obviously because they would be having the same withdrawl effects from it that I do!!! no way do I want my babe to have those feelings!). I feel helpless and frustrated with myself. Anyone have any experience or advice for this type of thing?

On a more positive note, I'm still pregnant. I needed reassurance last night so I bought another test and POAS. It was immediately positive. yippee. Just a tiny bit of reassurance helps.

I have not had any nausea or morning sickness and I don't feel really much more tired than I normally do. I am however thickening up, bloated and my boobs have grown ALOT! This started with the progesterone suppositories but has been getting worse (better? according to hubs yes!) And they hurt too.

2 weeks to us #1. Can't wait.

I also want to do a shout out to Al who got a surprise amazing BFP! She is my pregnant twin! And to Andrea who is waiting to hear how her embabies are developing! Keeping my fingers crossed! And to A plus B waiting for C who is starting her stims for this month's first monitored cycle! Go Girls!!!!

LTB

Scared!

I'm scared I'm going to miscarry. I'm really scared. I haven't had any signs pointing to it but I keep hearing about, reading about and thinking about all of the people that have false hope for the first few weeks only to be devastated at their u/s. I am dying for the 28th to arrive. I guess i have nothing to do but be positive and healthy until then. Please keep your toes and fingers crossed for me. Just like I will for all of my april ttc'ers out there!
LTB

Double Trouble!

Yup, beta more than doubled. I was at 144 on Thursday, today 356. Yippee! I'm really relieved and really happy and really scared. My first U/S is on April 28th. I can't wait. Is it normal to only have 2 betas? for some reason I feel like i've heard people getting 3?

Last night we went to see my new adorable nephew, and i have to admit it was MUCH easier knowing I had my own little special secret. I was expecting a BFN and then being miserable looking at my glowing SIL and her little one. We are excited to tell them that we found out we were preg on the same day they gave birth!

There are so many amazing girls doing new and exciting treatments this month and my fingers and toes are crossed for all of the April IVFers, the April IUIers and all April TTCers in general! I love you guys, I was thinking about how this is so great to have so much support and positive vibes from so many people I have NEVER met! I love how we can vent, support eachother and just totally be ourselves and not censor at all like we sometimes have to IRL! You guys are the only ones who know my little secret (except hubs of course) and it feels so special and right to share it with you first. Thank you soooooo much for reading, commenting and being so amazing!

xoLTB

Two weeks turns into....

9 months!!!! OMG! I got a BIG FAT POSITIVE HCG BLOOD TEST TODAY! I enjoyed my 2ww totally assuming I was prego and now it looks like if all goes well i'll get to enjoy it for another 9 months!!!! woah...i'm not really excited, more just stunned at the moment, and sweating a lot! My HCG was 142. Not sure if that is good/bad/normal but apparently i'm preggers! I have to go back for another blood test on Saturday morning. And continue with the progesterone suppositories (atleast they are not for nothing anymore!!!) .
Thanks for all of your good luck wishes yesterday! They all came handy apparently!
Fingers crossed until Saturday!
LTB

Twas the night before beta....

well tonight is my last night of "ignorance is bliss". Tomorrow at 7 am I go for beta. This is the first time I have not tested before going. I enjoyed my 2weeks being pupo but now i'm sad and preparing to be put back on bcp next month due to the cysts that will inevitably be there on day 3 monitoring. Not helping my sadness today is the fact that 2 ladies at work just announced their pregnancy, my SIL is getting induced tonight and I'll be going to see the baby if its born tomorrow night or Friday. Woo hoo...bfn in the morning and visiting SIL's baby that evening...sucky.

Also feeling super jealous and guilty at the same time. My best friend has a baby but has been renting a townhouse with her hubby for a few years. Now, nothing wrong with renting but my hubs and I bought a condo 2 years ago and I take pride in the fact that we could do this! and our place is amazing! Now today my bff told me in an email that she and her hubs are buying a house this week. So now not only does she have the baby but she has the house too. Owning property was "my thing", i guess kind of like a "well she might have a baby but we own our condo", i know its lame, i know i'm lame but now i'm just childless and lame cause she has a baby and a house and i wouldn't doubt if she gets preg with number 2 this summer. I hate hating other people for their good fortune, especially when it is well deserved! My bff is amazing and I want her to be totally happy, I just want it too. I want a baby.

:(

LTB

What a difference a week makes!

I have been totally MIA this week...well not totally, I've been lurking just not posting or commenting. Sorry dudes! I haven't had much to say. One thing that has been great for me this week is that I feel AMAZING! I felt so AWFUL and sick last week and so I don't know if its the contrast of feeling sick to feeling better that has made me feel soooo goooood this week, or if its the fact that I'm PUPO! But I'll take it regardless! I have been smiling more this week, full of energy, the sunny weather is allowing me to ride my bike to work again, i'm waking up extra early to take the doggie for a walk before work! and dare I say ....work is even FUN! I'm loving my students this week! Whoa....being pregnant rocks (ha ha ha!). This morning I went in for my progesterone blood test (my clinic always tests this one week into the 2ww....not sure why!) then I head back in one week to get the beta and confirm my pregnancy (ok...totally joking and being overconfident but a girl can dream!).
Hope everyone enjoys this LOOOONNNGGG weekend!
:)LTB